Silly Bands are Stupid!
by oathkeeper-girl
Summary: "Kenny" tells "Stan" what Silly Bands really are, guys, don't ever wear one. Find out why in "Silly Bands  are stupid!" Rated T for language only.


It's a cold, snowy morning in South Park, Colorado, but when isn't it? The boys are standing at their usual spot waiting for the bus. The one in the orange parka stares intently, his attention completely fixated on the red pom-pom hat wearing boy. The boy with dirty blonde hair, also known as the boy in the orange parka, decides to voice his curious thoughts sweetly as per usual.

"What the fuck is that, Stan?" His voice sounds melodic in the wind even if it is muffled by his parka. Red pom-pom hat wearing boy, also known as the raven haired one or more boringly put,"Stan", looks over at orange parka wearing, dirty blonde haired, ocean blue eyed boy, then down at his arm.

"Those are Silly Bands™, they're cool, Wendy gave 'em to me." He says this like everyone should know that and it's no big deal but it is. The orange parka wearing boy who we will call "Kenny" for the sake of saving time, wrinkles his nose but you can't see that because his parka hood is tightly drawn over his face, and says,

"I know what they are idiot, why are you wearing them?" "Stan" shrugs.

"Wendy gave them to me," he repeats in a Craig tone because he's cool like that. "Kenny" blinks his sparkling ocean blue eyes that we aren't even sure if that's the color of his eyes because they are in fact only portrayed as black dots.

"Stan, do you know what Silly Bands™ mean?" "Stan" shakes his raven haired head that is covered by his blue red pom-pom wearing hat most of the time so we can't see it, no "Kenny" takes this time to go into a long muffled explanation that of course only "Stan", the Ginger haired Jew boy that will be called "Kyle", and fat ridicule making boy that we will call "Cartman" understand that I have brought up only for convenient suspense making. It comes out sounding like this: Mrph mph mrh mrh mrhp mrmph mrph mph. Translation:

"It means you're whipped Stan, that Wendy is your pimp. She owns your ass." Fat boy "Cartman" laughs out loud not daring to be obnoxious. That would hurt "Stan"'s pride. "Cartman" would never do that.

"Dude," Ginger Jew "Kyle" manages out. This is his way of saying, "Stan, Kenny is so right and it is very sad that you're getting pimped out by that annoying bitch."

Obviously this communication is very effective and "Stan" immediately understands this and puts on a shocked face.

"Dude, what do I do?" He yells out, keeping totally calm like the cool raven haired jock he is.

"Heh-heh, Stan, Wendy has you whipped!" Cartman shouts followed by making whip noises obviously trying to help the situation.

"Cut them off now, before anyone sees them, the bus is already coming you better do it fast," "Kenny" says, continuing to uncharacteristically talk more than normal.

"Stan" starts ripping all of the Silly Bands™ off quicker than a quick thing and then the bys pulls up right before he can yank off the last one. A chortling "Cartman" and Jewish "Kyle" climb onto the bus first. "Stan" pleads with his eyes for "Kenny" to help him when after a particularly hard yank followed by a Pop! sends the Silly Band™ flying. They watch and the bus waits for the scene to finish in which the boys see the Silly Band™ hit a squirrel which very politely jumps out of the tree it was in and proceeds to claw out "Kenny"'s eyes. "Stan" hops, figuratively speaking, onto the normal bus which is yellow because that detail is very important and shrugs off the event because this is normal.

The bus closes its doors and continues on to South Park elementary. "Stan" walks down the aisle and sits next to "Kyle" who decided to randomly and not because it helps the plot this story does not have, sit behind Wendy. Wendy turns in her seat and asks in her annoyingly extremely not normal high pitched voice for a girl,

"Where are the Silly Bands™ I gave you, Stan?" "Stan" replies in a very complex mysterious way,

"Silly Bands™ are stupid."

XxXxXxXxXxX Later when "Kenny" comes back to life;;; XxXxXxXxXxXx

"Kenny" walks to "Stan"'s house not uncharacteristically because he is a kid and can't drive but couldn't even if he could drive because he can't afford a car, and knocks on the door. When "Stan" opens the door, "Kenny" punches him and walks away and yells at the same time,

"Silly Bands are fucking stupid!" Without the copyright because Kenny McCormick basically said fuck Silly Bands and their copyright because he's fucking awesome like that. Then KennyMcCormick pauses at the end of the side walk and looks back at "Stan" to give him a look through his parka hood that says, "Try to steal my line again bitch and see what happens" that sends a shiver down "Stan"'s spine.

Needless to say, "Stan" never wore a Silly Band™ again after that.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: Another South Park one-shot. Yeah, well this basically was written because I really don't like those stupid silly band things and because I needed to make fun of those stupid writing habits that I catch myself making sometimes. You know the ones, too much detail, bad flow, bad dialogue...etc. Hahaha this was just made to have fun and poke some of that fun at some of us writers. Sometimes a story is good enough without the thousand diffferent names by the way. I kind of got sick of seeing that.

Silly bands+Bad writing+South Park craving= Woah!

Haha thanks for reading! For those of you who liked or even if you didn't and you thought it was stupid, I appreciate you reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. Review please! Anonymous reviews are accepted too! :D

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own South Park, but enjoy the stories I write for it!


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